I feel a bit spoiled to say that I haven’t eaten out in 3 weeks and it pained me a bit last night to the point that I actually feel frustrated today at the deprival. Point being, I eat (ate) out too much. But eating out in Tokyo is part of the fun of living here; throw a stone and not only will you have a Gucci wearing elderly person scolding you but you will hit a restaurant that serves reasonable priced, delicious and beautiful meals. I am not against eating out, in fact, I am enthusiastically supportive of local, small businesses and am willing to sleep with anyone who makes my life easier but I have a good reason that I am not being a denizen of any of these culinary establishments… I need to conserve time and money! This year’s summer trip back to my birth country, throw in taking my children to Hong Kong Disneyland and paying for the landscaping work (outdoor, not my body…I am so hairy that my stone walkway looks like a value when I think about getting “that” landscaping done). Anyhow, my wallet is just an accessory 
at this point. When I updated my bankbook it printed out a picture of tumbleweed instead of a number and then the ATM machine pleasantly said “Thank-you for banking with MUFJ and please stop wasting our time”. Sigh. But I see it as the universe forcing me into my “simpler” habit. I have deadlines but 4-weeks-ago-me would already have been dreaming and planning where to have my lunch by 9am. Staying home because I have no choice helps me meet the aforementioned deadlines. I am also off Facebook for the same “mental” time-saving reason.
Last night, I REALLY wanted to sit in a restaurant and not cook. But I didn’t and here is the awesomeness of my occasional stubbornness…I anticipated that this addiction would come for me and I had filled my freezer with an amazing amount of meals I had precooked. In my time of strength I convinced myself “I WILL NOT FAIL”. So, holding my 1st graders hand for support and keeping my focus on him and not the places lining the street that were emitting alluring meat smells, I pushed past. I almost crumbled when he said “oh that looks good, are they selling ramen in there?” but instead tried to flee (well pick up the pace). And I survived. I quickly heated up Gumbo and toasted some homemade bread but was exhausted from my inner struggle so didn’t even bother with the salad.
Yes, I am lucky that this is my struggle at the moment but how I handle this shapes how I handle everything else. I noticed that my oldest and youngest child are willing to see me break this commitment but my middle child is incredibly supportive and proud of how I have been so disciplined about it. He has the most posh tastes out of the 3 yet turns out discipline outranks his fancy instincts. I read a book about willpower which helped me call out how I make excuses about how “I deserve it” and then make concessions. Anyhow, first goal is to make it to the end of September (I do have guests coming and we will go to a festival so will eat out that day) but in fact I have to show restraint and caution until December because of shakken, house costs etc plus my main job at the University doesn’t restart until October meaning I won’t be paid until the end of November…I love it! I wanted to clear up my schedule to spend more time at home with family, writing this makes me see how the universe is rooting for me and helping me do this. It may feel like a challenge on the odd occasion but in fact I am not in any dire situation. I am a budgeter, so there is an existing small stash if I need to draw on it (but I will fight that as long as I can…no way I want to go there because of my restaurant addiction). I got lost in the colourful glow of Tokyo and loved it. I have lived fabulously since moving here and now I am practicing the art of keeping that going but in a more paced and simple way.
So advice: Be alert for excuses you make for breaking promises with yourself. Some may be legit but some really are just excuses and need to be thought out. If you have a resolution, why not keep a pencil and paper on hand and tell yourself that you must write a couple of pages before deciding if you will go ahead and break it. Good chances your talk with temptation will reveal it as superficial and discipline will be sexy once again. DON’T THROW IT ALL AWAY FOR A ONE-NIGHT RAMEN!!!!