Month: September 2016

Although I find bathing in outdoor hot springs one of the most relaxing things to do, I never understood the Japanese love affair with their bathtubs…that is until last Christmas when I moved into my own home. My previous abodes just never had appealing ofuros but this place is different…maybe it is because I got to choose how I wanted it with the wider space, the little shelf that can balance a cup of tea or a glass of wine, perhaps it is that I splurged on the flooring and it feels lovely beneath my feet, whatever the reason, I get the obsession with taking baths now.

That said, all summer I showered . Soaking in hot water was the last thing I wanted when  my body was marinating in my own sweat all day.  Alas summer is coming to  close, the last couple of days with all members of my family sniffling with a cold and the humidity seemingly gone, our bath has been officially been beckoned back into business and it feels luxurious! Last winter we got into the habit of buying different bath salts and take turns choosing from our selection of onsen style, herbal healing ones, a stock that a friend spoiled us with of bubble baths from Lush and tonight’s choice- some medicinal salts to ease our sore muscles. My bath environment is so relaxing that I don’t even miss going to hot springs…something which I use to spend a lot of money and time doing.

A friend of mine taught me that an evening bath ritual can be very productive in other ways aside from the obvious of wiping tension away. She claims she learned how to speak English because of her bath…after her kids were in bed, she would study in her ofuro as it was her quiet, uninterrupted time. Taking a bath has been hailed by others for:

• opening pores and releasing toxins
• weight loss
• bringing down high blood pressure
•  better circulation
• better sleep
• steam therapy which is what I need now to open my clogged sinuses and ease my rough throat

…and a quick google will find dozen more proven and unproven benefits of a nightly bath.

Cautions include:

• drinking and drowning (don’t worry, my wine with my bath is something I seldom do and it is just a glass)
• sleeping and drowning
• of course electrocution…electrical safety folks!
• heart conditions, pregnancy… if you have a condition that you think will cause adverse and dangerous effects due to 20 min in hot water…please consult with your physician before starting a nightly ofuro ritual

Ooops, dropped some wine in the tub? No worries. There are hot springs here that intentionally add it to their water. In fact, many things you can find in your fridge can be thrown in to spice up the bath and supposedly add some health benefits to you…you probably remember the oatmeal baths from when you had chicken pox. But consider some olive oil, milk, honey, citrus fruit, herbs…you know I am sure if you search this you can find many surprising ingrediants to make your bath more relaxing, invigorating, healthful, whatever your objective is. In fact, bathing has a long history that goes beyond hygiene so you can draw on the inspirations of the Greeks, Romans, Turks, Japanese and try to learn how they used/ use bathing for spirituality and healing and even socializing.

A lovely room to bathe in is a simple way to make your home more of a retreat. A staycation can be had every night by starting a bathing ritual. Come to think of it, I have wondered how people can work such long hours in Japan and this may just be one of things that keeps that energizer battery inside salarymen/women recharging.

How would that look on a protest sign eh! But in all seriousness, I went to verify that making homemade pasta only took knowing the ratio of 100gms of flour to 1 egg and the ability to knead it into the texture of a bambinos butt, I did verify this but had no pasta to show for the effort as I ended up spending too much time gorging on information about the 20 year old Ramsey case that is back in the news. One article led to another and then another and… And every single time I fall for the garbage articles online my head hurts and I feel like I have been robbed…time and brain cells mercilessly yanked from me due to my own stupidity and lack of self-restraint.

Today I wanted to exert my power of choice and buried my cell-phone in another place that contains trash (my purse) and between errands ended up walking 6km with the boys, played in a park for a couple of hours, went to the library and basically told yahoo news to “stick it”.

Here is the thing, I read studies on this. I know the media cheaps out by resurrecting old news, I know that every click on things that cause mental-decay alerts the news outlet through article stats so they generate more and more of such content which in turn creates monster, nonsense, talentless celebrities who keeps oiling this cycle…wasting my time and getting rich off of me. I the reader am guilty, I indicate that I want it  by succumbing to headlines that I know contain articles that will add absolutely nothing to my life. And the recycling of news or what is chosen to be even considered news…AAAAAAHHHHH. Checking sources has never been more important than now considering how something tweeted on twitter today is considered a fact tomorrow and the fact that a whole news article, a whole news storm can be made because Gigi Hadid tweets she prefers to use children toothbrushes for her delicate teeth (I just made that up by the way). Often (not always…yes I am looking at you NHK (Cough, cough))public funded media presents more quality content and diverse view points. Choose carefully, support the real journalists out on the field and say no to those headlines that lure you in (and you know that they are doing it, you see the bad candy these strangers are handing out so don’t take it).

Yes, sometimes not thinking is what you need, it helps you unwind yadda, yadda but people somehow relaxed before the internet. People relaxed before T.V. Go back to the stone age and people could still find a way to relax after finding food and having a stressful day of dodging predators.  I am not there yet…I know too much about Kardashians even though I have seen zero episodes of their television show, I have never even heard their voices yet I can name them all. I know Black Chyna is pregnant with Robs baby and his family ain’t happy but I have no idea who the heck Black Chyna is. And this brings me to why does their lives matter in mine. There is a number of allotted days in my life and I am just handing it out like I can hop into a convenience store and add more to extend it. Swinging high up in the air on the swings and climbing on the playground, not looking at a screen but at the gorgeous smiles around me, now that is what I am willing to pay for with my vitality and breath!

I feel a bit spoiled to say that I haven’t eaten out in 3 weeks and it pained me a bit last night to the point that I actually feel frustrated today at the deprival. Point being, I eat (ate) out too much. But eating out in Tokyo is part of the fun of living here; throw a stone and not only will you have a Gucci wearing elderly person scolding you but you will hit a restaurant that serves reasonable priced, delicious and beautiful meals. I am not against eating out, in fact, I am enthusiastically supportive of local, small businesses and am willing to sleep with anyone who makes my life easier but I have a good reason that I am not being a denizen of any of these culinary establishments… I need to conserve time and money! This year’s summer trip back to my birth country, throw in taking my children to Hong Kong Disneyland and paying for the landscaping work (outdoor, not my body…I am so hairy that my stone walkway looks like a value when I think about getting “that” landscaping done). Anyhow, my wallet is just an accessory at this point. When I updated my bankbook it printed out a picture of tumbleweed instead of a number and then the ATM machine pleasantly said “Thank-you for banking with MUFJ and please stop wasting our time”. Sigh. But I see it as the universe forcing me into my “simpler” habit. I have deadlines but 4-weeks-ago-me would already have been dreaming and planning where to have my lunch by 9am. Staying home because I have no choice helps me meet the aforementioned deadlines. I am also off Facebook for the same “mental” time-saving reason.

Last night, I REALLY wanted to sit in a restaurant and not cook. But I didn’t and here is the awesomeness of my occasional stubbornness…I anticipated that this addiction would come for me and I had filled my freezer with an amazing amount of meals I had precooked. In my time of strength I convinced myself “I WILL NOT FAIL”. So, holding my 1st graders hand for support and keeping my focus on him and not the places lining the street that were emitting alluring meat smells, I pushed past. I almost crumbled when he said “oh that looks good, are they selling ramen in there?” but instead tried to flee (well pick up the pace). And I survived. I quickly heated up Gumbo and toasted some homemade bread but was exhausted from my inner struggle so didn’t even bother with the salad.

Yes, I am lucky that this is my struggle at the moment but how I handle this shapes how I handle everything else. I noticed that my oldest and youngest child are willing to see me break this commitment but my middle child is incredibly supportive and proud of how I have been so disciplined about it. He has the most posh tastes out of the 3 yet turns out discipline outranks his fancy instincts. I read a book about willpower which helped me call out how I make excuses about how “I deserve it” and then make concessions. Anyhow, first goal is to make it to the end of September (I do have guests coming and we will go to a festival so will eat out that day) but in fact I have to show restraint and caution until December because of shakken, house costs etc plus my main job at the University doesn’t restart until October meaning I won’t be paid until the end of November…I love it! I wanted to clear up my schedule to spend more time at home with family, writing this makes me see how the universe is rooting for me and helping me do this.  It may feel like a challenge on the odd occasion but in fact I am not in any dire situation. I am a budgeter, so there is an existing small stash if I need to draw on it (but I will fight that as long as I can…no way I want to go there because of my restaurant addiction). I got lost in the colourful glow of Tokyo and loved it. I have lived fabulously since moving here and now I am practicing the art of keeping that going but in a more paced and simple way.

So advice: Be alert for excuses you make for breaking promises with yourself. Some may be legit but some really are just excuses and need to be thought out. If you have a resolution, why not keep a pencil and paper on hand and tell yourself that you must write a couple of pages before deciding if you will go ahead and break it. Good chances your talk with temptation will reveal it as superficial and  discipline will be sexy once again. DON’T THROW IT ALL AWAY FOR A ONE-NIGHT RAMEN!!!!

I am sitting here gazing out the window. I do this a lot. I even payed the builder extra to have giant windows/walk-out installed at the back of my home so I can indulge in green-gazing. It overlooks my small backyard with a view of a home behind. This particular neighbour’s home is a tad on the dilapidated side and is overgrown with weeds and plants due to being abandoned for most of the week. I actually love it, this neighbour’s home makes me feel like I am deeper in nature than I actually am and contributes to me having greater privacy. Goodness, for me it is so gorgeous…wild, not meticulous but it is this uncontrolled lushness that does it for me. I sometimes sit on a mat in front of the glass so that my nose almost touches it. Looking at the butterflies, the leaves swaying and the little sprouts popping out of the soil puts my breathing on meditation pace autopilot.

My piece of land is small…tiny by many peoples standards but it is no matter, there is a voice in my head that sings “inch by inch, row by row, gonna make my garden grow. All it takes is a rake and a hoe and piece of fertile ground“, that voice is my own from when I was back in single digits. I loved this song I learned in school and my own small, distant voice filters into my brain when I look at my little “adult” garden, I hum it as I walk barefoot on my grass and poke at the soil, pull weeds. Don’t get me wrong, I am no farmer. I have just been attempting to grow things with both success and failure for a long time, including a high percentage of time living in an apartment (one particular year I had such great success with my cucumbers that I kept hitting my head on them when I would open the balcony door). Anyhow, I have learned to move on with the disappointment when things get eaten up by bugs or don’t thrive and I always plant leaves that are hardy and guaranteed to give me hope and satisfaction in my gardening pursuit.

Even one tiny plant that feeds you nourishes your heart,instills magic in life and puts appreciation on the brain. City dwellers, throw some lettuce seeds in a deep pot NOW and place it on the balcony where you can see it and it is exposed to the elements i.e rain (the deep pot is so you decrease your chances of letting it dry out). You will have fresh salad leaves over the next few months. It is so simple and  I cannot even say how many friends have come over and been overjoyed and surprised when I hand them a basket and tell them to go on the balcony (now backyard) and cut leaves for our meal. Just keep snipping what you need to eat and it will not only continue to give, it will actually give more and more.

This is more a PSA. Future posts will be more specific about what grows well here in TYO. I am blessed to have my own piece of land now and even writing about it makes my heart explode with love. When I see my kids snacking on what is out back, when I walk out there and pick things to cook with or when I just want to settle my heart by green-gazing in my garden I heal just a little bit more, become a tad more kinder and fall in love with the world just that much more.

(All pics are of my summer garden ending and autumn garden beginning.)